Taking God at His Word

Someone once told me, "your relationship with God is only as good as your worst earthly relationship." As I thought about this, I questioned the accuracy of the statement. Could it be true, even as the saying "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link?" Thinking it through, I decided it couldn't possibly be true, after all, my life is riddled with bad relationship after bad relationship. If the first statement were true, how could I have a relationship with God at all?

But recently I was convicted that perhaps my relationship with God wasn't as amazing as I wanted to think it was. Case in point, I don't trust people to stay with me, to love me through and through, to stand by me. I rather expect them to leave, to turn away, to give up, to betray. And as I laid on my bed last night, I realized that I expect God to fail in the same way I've seen people fail me. Have you ever experienced a person saying "we'll always be friends" and in your mind you refute the statement even as you smile sweatly at the person who said it? I don't conciously do this with God, it's so much more subtle than that. I make it sound more "spiritual" in my mind and say "He'll never leave me as long as..." and you can fill in the blank. I expect His love to be conditional, even though that defies the definition of love. I expect His presence sometimes, His thoughts toward me when I'm doing well. His smile if I haven't screwed up. What I don't expect is that He will "NEVER leave nor forsake" me (Heb 13:5). I don't expect "His love [to] endure forever" (Psalm 100:5). I don't expect Him to lead me after I've wandered from the path, but only when I've done it perfectly. It's so complicated and frustrating, but what I'm trying to say is this: I know a lot of truth, but I have a hard time believing it fully. Have you ever felt like that? That you know all the correct things, but believing it, having it become a part of you, that's another thing altogether? So why is it so hard for me to take God at His word? After all, He says all over the place that He loves me (John 15:9, 1 John 4:18, Deut 7:7-8), that He'll never leave me (Heb 13:5, Ps 139:7-12, Ps 23:4), that He is faithful when I am faithless (2 Tim 2:13).

So I must seek His face. If I don't understand something or if I don't trust God, there is but one solution...to ask Him to show me. Ask Him to open my eyes to see and believe His response. He asks me to ask Him for faith. Faith is a gift that He must give, it's not something I can conjure up (Eph 2:8-9). And faith is what I need to take Him at His word.

By Your Side
Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go