Sleepless Nights

As my ability to sleep has been rapidly diminishing, I have been sorely tempted to complain to my Father in Heaven. After all, he is capable of making me sleep well if he wants to, so isn't it his fault that I can't? Well... not exactly. And last night I learned something. Not being able to sleep, I watched a favorite movie of mine, "Facing the Giants." As I watched this movie it was as if God was pouring life into my tired, worn out, helpless, hopeless form. Watching the movie reminded me of a few things:

1) God can do whatever he wants, whether it makes sense or not, and my job is to praise him. As the coach told his team "if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise him." This is an attitude. How can we praise God when things seem to be going awry? Because we can trust that, in His infinite wisdom and forsight, He has a plan through the trial. So, yes, I can start by thanking God that I can't sleep! (how weird does that sound!:-)

2) The coach's wife wanted a child desperately, but the couple couldn't have children, Doctor said so. Yet, the woman went to the doctor, again, to see if she was pregnant this time. The charts got switched, and the nurses thought she wasn't pregnant. The news hit hard, but what did the coach's wife say to God? Not, "I give up on you!" or "What's wrong with you?" or "I don't know if you love me." No, this woman boldly states, with tears running down her cheeks "I will still love you, Lord." It's so easy to love God when He gives you what you want, but what about when you don't get your deepest, heart's desire? We're not talking candy here, we're talking about desires that God himself plants in our hearts. It could be the desire to get married, the desire to have a job, the desire to know your earthly parents. Maybe it's the desire to truly understand God. Yet when we don't seem to be getting these desires of our hearts, will we still love the one who gave them to us? Will we trust him in these deepest of heart issues?

3) It's easy to say "God, I'll do what you ask after you show me for certain sure that it will work." But that's not how God opperates. He says, "I want you to trust me. I have this task for you. Now trust me." Now, really? That's like saying "jump out of this plane, I'll catch you, don't worry!" Sometimes God asks us to follow Him. He doesn't tell us the ending, He doesn't even show us the end of the path, he just says, "here is the path, walk in it. Take the first step. And keep on walking. I will be a lamp to your feet, but I'm not going to show you the whole path. You need to trust me." For me, that means forgiveness. It's easy to say, "but they hurt me. Bad. If I forgive them....." and we go on our little escapade. God says, "forgive them as I have forgiven you." We don't get to see the end. Maybe that person will NEVER appoligize (oh, horrors!) or maybe they will continue to hurt you. But God says forgive. (Side note, forgiveness does not equal stupidity. You must forgive someone, stop holding an offense against them. But that doesn't mean you go back to their door for more of whatever harm they are commiting against you.) Sometimes, the hardest thing God asks us to do is... well, keep going. Maybe we've fallen down and we're ashamed to lift our head. Maybe we don't see any light at all and we want to snuff out ours just because it seems like the most sensible thing at the moment (NO, this is NOT sensible, so please, if you're in that place and you can't see any light for yourself, take my word for it until you can take it for yourself). God doesn't tell us that life will get better. He just says to stand back up and walk. Keep going forward. So you slipped into that old habbit that you absolutely hate. Get back up and keep walking. Why? Because that's the path you need to follow right now. Is it going to be easy? no. Are you going to be happy all of a sudden? no. Will you see hope right away, maybe, but not necesarily. You have to take God's word for it and walk.

4) ok, are you getting the picture? So, I couldn't sleep. But God used the opportunity to impart truth to my heart. Truth that I had forgotten. Truth that I need right now, today, and forever to live. So, next time you can't sleep, it doesn't necesarily mean God is punishing you, nor does it mean that He's not being good to you. It may be that He wants you to pray for someone, I've heard of that happening before. Or, maybe, just maybe, He wants you to get to know him a little better and He knows you'll pay attention best at 12:00 AM.:-)

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him."